It’s been a long time since I’ve updated. The triad is no longer a triad but three individuals again. We still have a lot of love for one another, but I have moved back to the state where I grew up, a place where many people are still fundamentalists instead of structuralists. It’s strange but good to be home. Because yes, this is my home. I feel a real sense of belonging here, a sense that I am loved by this place. Also, that I can do real good here.
It’s nice to feel a more pointed sense of purpose. I feel less adrift. I want to write a manifesto. This stuff about Detroit is mad. The world is mad. I had a long talk with two twenty year olds on acid, they kept telling me in all earnestness that they felt the continued existence of poverty, starvation, homeless, preventable diseases, was a tradeoff they were willing to make in order to be able to theoretically have as much as they want of everything they want. What??? One of them literally told me, “but if there were no starving children, how could there be wealth?” In other words, they weren’t ignorant to the fact that people starve, not because of lack, but because of allocation of food…and they just didn’t care. They really, really didn’t.
I was pretty taken aback. I kept saying, “You don’t know what you’re saying. You can only say that because you don’t know what you’re talking about.” They are really sweet, hospitable guys, very kind to me, shirt-off-their-backs kind of kids, but WHAT???
Adulthood, I feel, is the moment when you realize the world really does not revolve around you, the moment when you stop letting all of your actions be dictated by your own fears and desires, and start measuring your needs against the needs of others, and letting the greater need win (nine times out of ten, at the very least). So basically, our whole world is run by people who have never reached adulthood. It’s run by a bunch of greedy adolescents who have somehow convinced the masses that their secret machinations behind closed doors are more valuable to the world than our labors to make the world cleaner, safer, to built the things we all use and their selfish ends more visionary and noble than our collective desires we would have to negotiate without their leadership, their power more real than our power.
What a huge lie. What a huge, silly, lie that we all live by, and support with our complicity.
Are we so afraid of examining our structures that we refuse to seize our collective resources from them, even as they allow great swaths of us to starve and suffer? Are we really willing to let them sit atop their spoils, knowing as we do the murder, the thievery, the lies, the coercion that formed the current arrangement?
What a strange world. Aren’t we ready to heal yet? To trust each other? To stop kowtowing to a bunch of silly, self-important boys? To end the inferiority/superiority complex this world is caught in?